Pain Part 2

If you talk to a pain specialist she or he will tell you that there are a number of different types of pain.  (Bone, muscle, nerve, acute, chronic, etc.)

If you live with pain for a while it doesn't matter what type it is.  Oh sure, you need to be able to use the right sort of therapy (heat vs. cold, for example), but the bottom line for the person in pain is simply that you're in pain.  Period.

When you're in pain for a while it is always with you.  It's like a close friend, in a really weird sort of way.  You become so intimately familiar with the pain that you're closer to it than you are to your lover.  You are acutely aware of how this intimate friend will react to whatever you do.  However you move. Where you put your foot when you're walking.  Which hand you'll use to open a door.

Another intimate relationship develops at the same time.  This is the relationship that the person in pain for a while develops with the treatment for their pain.  This relationship becomes an essential part of your ability to function, just like the relationship you have with pain influences your ability to function.

I'm currently juggling a delicate balance of seven different medications to manage the flare up of pain I'm dealing with.  So now in addition to the intimate relationship I have with thinking about how moving, breathing, thinking, stepping, turning, eating, and any other functioning will influence my new friend, I also have to think about how which of the seven medications I can take when, how they'll interact, how my eyesight will be affected so I can drive, and how I can remember not to mix up my timing so I don't accidentally kill my liver or some other important organ.  Plus I have to try to stay awake, and try to stay asleep.

Sometimes the medication is worse than the pain.

And there are other things I'm doing for this.  Exercises to restore muscle balance.  Heat and cold therapy.  Meditation and prayer.  Reaching out for support from friends and family.  Each of these both help and hurt.  Each of these at some point or another becomes a vital function just to live.  To live with pain.

Thankfully I can feel progress.  My pain is starting to diminish.  It's still there, but it's less.  The medications and treatments are working.  Soon I'll be pain free again.  For a while.  Until my old friend (enemy?)  comes back and takes over my life again for however long it is next time.

I will be back to golfing, hiking, walking, sitting with friends playing games, and living without having my world dominated by pain and treatment schedules.  I will not sink into despair, even if this goes on far longer than expected.  Because I have other intimate friendships that I can rely on to help me live.